Thinking

Wow! It has been over a year since I wrote on this thing but tonight I don't have much to do so I thought I would take a little time and just write. 2011 has been one of the hardest years of my life thus far and one of the best years. God's message to me this year has been "I will never leave you or forsake you." I am learning to purposely fix my eyes on Jesus and not my circumstances. I think you go through those seasons of life where things are really good. Not too much is opposing you and life just seems to be clicking. Then there are those seasons where you feel like you just can't catch a break. It seems like the enemy has targeted with both barrels open, firing away. But even in that there are themes. Hmmm... for instance over the past 6 months the attack seems to boil down to finances and possessions. Back in Cincy at the beginning of the year it was the house situation basically bleeding money. Then I moved back here and my car seems to have a never ending amount of problems. Yesterday it wouldn't start and then tonight on my way home from work it just decided to stop working twice. A bit inconvenient I would say. My mind just recalled the story of Job, God allowed Satan to sift Job in stages. Each time God would place a limit on what Satan could touch. So even in my circumstances it would seem that God has placed a limit on what Satan can do. That is a very comforting thought. Because I know it is not in my strength that I have to face these things. It is God that gets me through and holds me up. It is His responsibility because He has promised to. It is not just a good thought or I hope He will, I can expect Him to and ask him to follow through on what He has promised.

A few weeks ago I had a vision while doing my morning quiet time. I saw myself standing in front of a huge wall. This wall was leaning towards me and big chunks of the wall were falling. I was standing with my arms outstretched holding that wall up but it was too much. There were these icky creatures coming over the wall pushing on it from the other side. As I watched myself struggling to hold this wall I cried out to God. "See this is what I mean God, You are supposed to hold this wall!!! Why aren't you holding it, please help me hold this wall." At this point Jesus appeared and stepped between me and the wall. He placed his arms around me and put his head down over me. The wall toppled down and all the evil looking creature came racing over. But I was safe in His arms. After a few moments, the dust settled and Jesus stood upright. He looked down at me and with one arm around my waist, he led me over the debris into a wide open place that was filled with peace!

This is so profound for me because he has been telling me to stop to striving and reminding me that He will never leave me or forsake me. And in the course of a few seconds He painted a picture of what I am doing and what He wants to do for me.

So I am determined now more than ever to Stand firm and secure on and in God not allowing my circumstances to dictate my security. God is... my everything!